Things That No Longer Phase Me

I’ve been in Thailand for over ten months now, and I’ve come to realize there are a number of things that made my jaw drop when I first arrived that no longer have that effect.

Motorbikes

What I used to think of as a dangerous toy, is now a way of life. With multiple functions!

• A means of transporting a family of 1,2,3,4,5,6...the possibilities are endless! Two grown adults, a teenager, a newborn, and the dog on the same bike! And not a single one of them wearing a helmet. Who needs a car seat or seatbelt when you have.. nothing. Mom is often driving the motorbike with one hand and holding the baby with the other. Or Dad driving with the toddler standing between his legs.

• Thai people are very comfortable on motorbikes, so comfortable in fact that the people sitting on the back multitask. As well as hanging on for the ride, they can eat a bowl of rice, text, read, or do homework, all at the same time (helmet free of course).

• Wearing a skirt? You better side saddle it!

• Interested in having a mobile restaurant? Of course! Just hook on a grill and drive around town looking for hungry customers. Easy as hook and ride!

• Need to move anything? Heavy bag of rice? Furniture? Buckets of vegetable? Its as easy as 1,2,3.. load it on the motorbike!

• My morning tutoring job on Sundays picks me up at my house. I was shocked when I saw that Mom was picking me up on her motorbike for our first session, with no helmet for teacher! I still get a little nervous, but now, I look forward to sitting on the back of the bike every week and its normal. (Don’t worry Mom, it’s a very short ride and she drives extra careful with Teacher Chelsea on the back. Uh oh, I guess I should prepare for a lecture on this one).

Thanks Google!

Again, Google.

This is a little extreme, but I wouldn't doubt it!

Honking

Cars, songtells, motorbikes, and tuk-tuks are always honking their horns. The horn has a very different meaning here than in America. Back home, you lay on the horn in frustration and anger to say “YOU *&%$#!*&!!!!” In Thailand, they use the horn to say a friendly “Hey! I’m here on your right.” Or “hey, need a ride?” While standing out on the street, I hear constant waves of honking horns and I’ve gotten very used to it.

Your name is whaaaat?

Punch. Dream. Gun. Premier. Title. Fifa. Kungfu. Radar. Monkey. Boss. Words I picked out of a hat? Nope, names of my students! Other kids at my school include G-Force, Disney, Tomcruise (one word), Pot, Pretty, … Bizarre celebrity baby names no longer seem so far-fetched.

Bugs

Pre-Thailand, if a fly or ant had been on my dinner plate, I would have pitched the meal and would have rather been hungry than to eat it. In Thailand, bugs are unavoidable and I’m constantly being bitten my mosquitoes if I don’t wear repellent and have even gotten a few ant bites. So a fly on my rice is the least of my worries. I shoo it away and continue eating. Normal.

Photo Flash: Pictures

Every once in a while (more so while traveling), someone will ask to have their picture taken with us, and I have gotten very used to this happening. Whats weirder though is when they take candid pictures of us out and about. At least give me some warning so I can give you my good side! I always wondered what they did with these pictures.. show them to their friends saying “Ha, look at these farangs!” maybe? Recently, the founder of my school informed Jess and I that she came across our picture on the internet, someone had snapped a candid photo of us while in a public bus/mini van on the way to see some waterfalls in Kanchanburi last month and posted the picture on their blog. Strange? Yes. The fact that my head boss came across it on some random Thai blog.. even stranger. So strange in fact that I should have expected it.

80-20 rule of understanding

I’ve been here for over ten months, and I still only understand about 20% of what is going on around me, being left clueless for the other 80. I am pick of the gist of a conversation, but for the most part, I’m pretty much in the dark about whats being said. Along with me not understand much of what’s going on, the 80-20 rule may also at times apply to my students. So we have a mutual understanding of not understanding.

Feelin hot hot HOT

Its hot and humid, ALL THE TIME! Rainy season, cold season, hot season, it all feels the same to me, hot, hotter, and even hotter. I wont bring home any of the clothes I’ve been wearing here and my hair is unmanageable. I’ve come to accept the fact that while I’m in Thailand, I’m always sweating and my hair always going to be more of a mad-scientist style.

L = N

T. Chelsea: “Dream, what did you do this weekend?

Dream: “I go to CentrAN!”

It used to drive me crazy, but now I even call Central Plaza mall “Centran”. I’m not exactly sure why, but Thai people often pronounce the “L” as the “N” sound. My student Title spells his name T-I-T-L-E but it is pronounced “Titan”, which is a cooler name anyways. Pineapple is pineappun. The girl I tutor on Monday in fifth grade spells her name Gal Gal but we call her Gun Gun.

Magical White Powder

I often arrive to school in the morning and instantly greeted by a dozen or so white-powdered-faced children.  Did they get in a fight with a sack of flour? Nope, baby powder to absorb the moisture and beat the heat! I've even grown accustom to this trick and often splash a little of the magic white powder on myself while running out the door to stay fresh.

Ice in Beer
I'm still not a fan of this one.  But its hot. It makes sense. Cool your beverage down with some cubes of ice. Better that than warm.


Yeeep, this is my Thai life.